#BADD2015: Don't shove me into your stereotypical box.

The other day I felt really angry, for me at least because I’m not a person who angers easily. However when I was younger, there were periods in my life when I felt really angry. My Auntie taught me that the things I was getting angry about may not be as simple as they seemed and to find out what the truth was. As I got older I questioned more and endeavoured to understand. I shied away from anger believing that it had no place in my life, that it would only bring negativity and pain. And although I still believe that anger is best kept in small quantities, anger can push us forward, it can prevent us from accepting the inequality within society and instead motivate us to fight for change.

The last five years have been especially hard on the disabled community and there have been many times when it would have been easy to be consumed by anger. Even before the last general election, the tabloids had increased the disproportionate amount of articles that falsely claimed or gave the perception that benefit fraud was sky high. And not only has this continued but it has steadily worsened.

Over the last five years society has been bombarded with an underlying ideology that disabled people that claim welfare are a problem and are not part of society.

This negative ideology is only further perpetuated by the Government. With a speech on the fairness of seeing the “closed blinds of their next door neighbour sleeping off a life on benefits” and the near constant references to those who “work hard and get on” and “hard working families” to name but a few.

But this simplistic and discriminatory view implies disabled people who are not in work are simply choosing not to do so because of the perception, that a life on benefits is an “easier” life. This shows an absolute lack of understanding about those who can’t work and of how restrictive disability can be.

But with this being portrayed as an injustice to the rest of society it is easier for politicians to form a regressive welfare policy if people believe that those in the disabled community are fraudsters. Because the perception then is of a government that is simply righting a “wrong” and not the truth, that this causes society to stagnate and discrimination towards the disabled community to worsen.

You would think with a government and the media that is so eager to criticise the disabled for not working it would be shredding away the barriers to work to enable those that could, with the right support, variety and flexibility in the work available but alas no. This Government that is so eager to criticise has not only failed to remove any barriers to work and social inclusion as a whole but it has closed or reduced existing schemes like the Independent Living Fund and Access to Work.

The prime minister only days ago stated “a life on benefits, is no life at all.”

This goes back to the same perception that a disabled person without a job, has no purpose, no life. It also implies that a disabled person’s value simply rests on their ability to work or not and belittles the huge contribution that disabled people have made in society. In the same way as the rest of society, the disabled community pursue interests and contribute to society as others do outside of their employment.

When highlighting the Government and the media’s position with the public and with people I know, it is obvious to see how much this distorted perception of the disabled community has influenced many peoples’ opinions.

In its more milder form it is not unusual to be told that the “Government are obviously not talking about you, you're obviously genuine”

I know I am but given that the vast majority of people claiming disability benefit are genuine, chances are however much this person may perceive me as genuine, another member of the public who doesn't know me may not and may discriminate against me. This feeds into the public's belief that benefit fraud is 34 times higher than reality.

For anyone that has read my blog you will know I have psoriatic arthritis and hypermobility alongside additional conditions and that I deal with pain every day. Although I walk with a stick and have had to use a wheelchair at times, I may look “normal” to an outsider that doesn't take more than a second to glance at me or get to know me.

I have had my disability questioned and have faced discrimination by passers by and those who even know me. I know that isn’t helped by the fact that stereotypically, arthritis is seen as a mild condition and one that only affects people in their old age. But the real crux of it is, that not only is the reality of my condition further from the public’s often misguided perception, I often receive discrimination and less understanding than someone who has the flu.

This is what I find truly ludicrous. I would love to say that this is uncommon but I and so many who live with invisible conditions have our validity questioned just because we don't have a snotty nose. It is even more ludicrous when you factor in that my arthritis can create a immune response that is equal to a severe bacterial infection or even burns.

Not only do disabled people have their validity questioned by society and even by people they know, they often are excluded from social gatherings and if invited the lack of an accessible venue or seating may mean they are unable to join in when they otherwise could of.

I have learned since the onset and the gradual worsening of my disability that friends that knew me well accept that my disability is just another aspect of me and that if they enjoy my friendship, they will make time for me as they did before. There are friends that care after every hospital stay and friends that will wait with me whilst I sit and rest, and there is the friend that has done all she can so I could be at her wedding.

Because of those friends and when I meet members of the public that give me their seat before I stumble, for those that don’t glare at me and instead open a heavy door, and for those that ask me questions with a thirst for understanding, you are the reason I do not submit to that anger.

The discrimination has been completely engineered to pull the public's attention away from the real causes of the inequality in other sections of society to easily blame those in the disabled community.

Society has gone backwards and peoples' perceptions have worsened. But this is not an problem created by the disabled community, it is one of a complete lack of acceptance. It is so hard for the disabled community not to be blinded by rage from the injustice experienced. The realisation that this shouldn’t be up to the disabled community to fix. There are those in society that will judge the disabled and do not want to change their ignorance and to those people I do not need to justify myself or spend time on you. To those that ask questions and want to reach out to understand, I am here.

(I know im late this year but better late than never)

and a Happy New Year!!

Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

So Happy New Year to everybody! We rang in the New Year watching people standing in the no doubt freezing cold weather watching some pretty fireworks whilst Techiecarer & I sat at home with one very excitable bunny bounding around us, he seemed so very pleased to ring in the New Year.

There was some lovely times this last year & some sad especially with my Dad’s passing & although it is part & parcel of my life, it is truly ridiculous to see how many hospital visits I’ve had.

I’m not for resolutions. Promises that so often you don’t keep to yourself. However as always I have things I want to do but on the understanding that I may not complete some of the things I would like to do this year but that doesn’t mean I never will. I also know that I will no doubt do things that I hadn’t even planned for this coming year.

However the main thing I want to try & do this year, is not to care about peoples’ judgement as much. I always try to be a nice person & be someone who cares but when I know that I am doing all that I can & that I need the help & support that I receive I still however get judgement. For me, it makes you feel like you have to explain, to justify yourself, where there is in fact nothing you need to justify yourself for. I have always known that for some they will never accept how things are regardless of what you say. So I’m going to try to conserve my energy & not defend something I don’t need to defend. I also want to make sure that I don’t let people define my worth by my disability or my lack of a job, my disability is part of me but it is not the only part & that just because I don’t have these things does not make me worthless nor mean I have no purpose.

I also want to write more. Manageable amounts that aren’t necessarily huge essays & to not worry about what I’m writing as much as I do & to improve upon it. For me with my dyslexia I have always found speaking a breeze but writing is a lot harder especially coupled with brain fog & fatigue. There are also so many small things I’m thinking about focusing on & will mull it over in the coming days & I know that Techiecarer has his own challenges ahead for this year but I know how very I proud of him I am.

To everyone I wish you a very happy new year & for everyone to be kind to themselves this coming year. To be helpful to others, to stand up for whats right & for the disabled community to support each other, to not allow people to create a climate where disabled are made to feel inadequate.

No one should define you but you.

Disability - Thinking for two more seconds

Growing up I felt very proud of my country, a country that after the war, after going through so much, created the NHS & the welfare system because it was needed & the right thing to do.

Aneurin Bevan said on the formation the NHS that “despite our financial and economic anxieties, we are still able to do the most civilised thing in the world: put the welfare of the sick in front of every other consideration.”

And growing up this is how I felt my country was, that on the whole we would always try to do the right thing, the moral thing. Later, naturally I lost my child-like naivety, I know as a country we have got it wrong but somewhere down the line the truth has been twisted, moulded into something that is not.

Certain sections of the media have perpetuated stories unrepresentative of the majority, twisting stories to create sensationalised headlines, backed up with manipulated statistics.

Stories on “welfare reform”, benefit claimants with 60in TVs, of disabled claimants that dare to step out of the house, even implying welfare is somehow responsible for murder.

And if history has shown us anything, if something is repeated often enough, regardless of validity, people will start to believe it.

As a result, media & public opinion have become so hostile in parts that many disabled people feel guilty or feel that society expects them to feel guilty, like they have done something wrong, whereas in reality they have done nothing of the sort.

And the thing is, why should any disabled person feel guilty?

I have multiple conditions, none of them were my fault, it is rarely anyone’s fault that they become disabled & it can happen to anyone.

When using public transport, I’ve been glared at, muttered about & verbally attacked because I’m a young girl sitting in the priority seat with my walking stick in hand even though I’m more than entitled to be there, just as any disabled person is.

When I have gotten on & there are no seats, people will automatically move for an elderly person that gets on. I have no problem with that. When I was younger & able, I was brought up to offer your seat to an elderly person if they got on & there are none available as a matter of respect. My point is many a time an elderly person has gotten on with better mobility than my own & they are offered a seat automatically, but for me people will wait & stare, the cogs in their head trying to work out, why does a young girl need a stick, inevitably as I start to stumble someone else moves & offers me their seat.

My point is that some people believe that, of course an elderly person will have mobility problems but a young person surely wouldn’t. They either don’t fully understand how & to what extent young people can be disabled, or believe what has been said in the media, that benefit fraud is high.
It has got to the ridiculous stage that people have even been berated in the media for having “nice things.”

The amount of times I have heard people say “Well I can’t afford an iPhone so why should they be able to get one,” is enough to drive anyone insane.

But people don’t take the time to think for longer than a second that it may have been a gift, that it may have been bought before they got sick, that they took out a loan for it or got it on the never, never. Also often people don’t realise that many disabled people do work.

They don’t think for a second that we all have different priorities, you may go out 3 nights a week at £50 a go, whereas the disabled person may not go out at all or very rarely & instead saves their money for their contract phone of £40 which in comparison means they are spending considerably less.

People don’t think for a second that its their lifeline, their contact with the hospital or GP, to friends or family, their ability to socialise & keep up to date with the outside world which is especially vital when enduring stints in hospital.

People don’t think for a second how much technology is an aid for people with disabilities & that this is only going to get bigger.

An iPad or tablet for example is great for people that can’t lift up a conventional laptop & need to move position & location during the day. Voice dictation & predictive text software is improving with every new update, helping people with dexterity issues such as arthritis & hypermobility. Disabled people do so much with technology, often using technology to complete tasks they can’t physically do in real life.

Another topic I have found people to obsess on is that people should be given food stamps or their benefits on a government card that excludes items such as alcohol & cigarettes.

Firstly I will never understand how someone can become so obsessed with making sure that people don’t have certain things & how they find the energy to, but in countries that have adopted these systems, they are always more costly to implement & a black market always forms along side it.

You also would be creating a level of stigma, a way to recognise those who are receiving support & I often wonder if people want that to make themselves feel better about their own lives.

I have also heard people state that “unless you have paid something into the system, you shouldn’t get anything out.”

So what about children born with severe learning disabilities & disabilities? Or teenagers who are diagnosed with a disability? Tough luck?

Yes, some disabled people are able to work but others can’t, with better systems in place & real support, it may be possible to help more people in the future but I don’t think anyone should be penalised because they were born disabled or developed a disability when they were young before they had a chance to pay in. Disabled peoples’ contributions to society are too often dismissed if it isn’t through paid work.

People complain about what their taxes are spent on, I don’t think that will ever change but in comparison to countries with mostly private services, it is so much more expensive added together. Due to the type of system we have, there is no profit made & as many pay in, it acts like a group discount meaning that it is cheaper for all.

People seemed to understand that although you may not receive anything at the time, that it was there for if you were ever unfortunate enough to need it or for any of your family or friends. I didn’t have my disability or illnesses from birth, like most they came later in life & it can happen to any of us.

I think we are too quick to pass judgement, possibly more now through the advent of social media.We used to think deeper about what we were going to say, not to edit ourselves but to form a balanced opinion. However I feel that when we don’t take more than a second to look deeper, like with the media, inaccuracies & prejudices unrepresentative of the majority will continue to be passed off as the majority, This is only going to increase the toxic nature & hostility towards people that require assistance & we should hold on to some of our child-like instincts & embrace a balanced, factual judgement.

I can’t understand how people are attacking the most vulnerable in this country, on a misguided belief that what a minority of the group do, is some how representative of the majority but ultimately disabled people in this country didn’t get us into this mess in the first place & deserve support. It is also not that benefits are too high but that people have different priorities & for some, wages are too low in relation to living costs.

And to the disabled people in this country, you shouldn’t feel guilty as long as you have the conviction in your mind & in your heart that you are doing all you can, you can’t ask for more. Disabled people should no longer feel guilty for peoples’ inaccurate beliefs & should no longer feel guilty because people aren’t thinking for longer than two seconds.