Counting Spoons

So what has happen since my last “spoonie” bod update?

Well all I can say is having multiple overlapping conditions is just damn complicated & inconsiderate some times, well a lot of the time. Too often than not I have learn’t that you can calculate how many spoons you may need for a particular task & often half way through a plus changes to a minus & you have to deal with the “fabulous” consequences.

But on the whole there have been many hospital appointments, GP & nurse appointments & I underwent surgery.

I was waiting to have a nerve test done which i've had & my nerves at least are doing what they are suppose to. Great, but that obviously doesn't explain the pins & needles in my feet & legs. The guy however that was doing the test said I need to be sent for a head & spinal scan & also mentioned that Doctors have found that some people on Anti-TNF treatment have discovered that it has messed up their nerves.

Oh, well that's peachy then !

It’s not like I can really choose not to take medication for my arthritis so it does "slightly " complicate things some what however there are a few similar medications that I could switch to if need be.

I've been off my Anti-TNF treatment for awhile as I had to have an operation & as my medication suppresses my immune system, my rheumatology team took me off treatment so to try & give my body the best chance of healing afterwards . Although not great, it’s worse to be left on the medication (for me personally anyway) like my old team would (different treatment but it still suppressed my immune system) as often I wouldn't heal properly & I would be more prone to infections.

The operation hurt, I was awake though sedated. I'm not a wimp about these things been as I have pain all the time but I tried to tell the anaesthetist that when I had sedation previously at this hospital for a non surgical procedure, I was barely sedated at all & obviously as this was surgery I didn't want that to happen again.

Unfortunately he took this as me having a low pain threshold instead of having a higher level of pain to deal with but I didn’t try & argue & just agreed with him as it was easier. He told me not to worry that the sedation that he was going to give would be enough but it wasn't, he had to give me more sedation & pain relief because I was too awake.

I then had to lie in recovery for an hour whilst I came round & after you have eaten they move you to a chair recovery before you are seen by a doctor & then discharged. 

So half way though being discharged I started to feel bad & that I was going to be sick so I told the doctor who asked if I "hold on for a minute" & they would get me a sick bowl. Ookk? So shes talking about my discharge whilst I try & concentrate on not throwing up on her or that's what I thought. About a minute maybe? Later she asks me if "I'm ok" I proceed to slightly shake my head, mumble "no" & then I blackout. I mean how it happens in films, think Harry Potter & the dementors without the dementors, soul sucking & the screaming. I came back around to people holding me up right on the chair on oxygen with a blood pressure cuff on & O² sats monitor. They proceeded to plonk me on a trolley & wheel me back into the recovery for another hour & a half.

Nooooo! I was trying to escape!

Turns out that my blood pressure had got really low 60/40 but by the time I left recovery (for the second time) it had got nearer normal at around 100/80. I asked the nurses if TechieCarer was ok throughout this & she said “Oh yes but you scared the doctor half to death”.

Whoops, well I did warn her!

Anyway other than an early infection which my GP was awesome quick to treat, I healed as I should & when I went to my doctor to talk to him about some other tests I had & my bowels, (I know! but everybody has them) he suggested that I had another blood test.

This was to check my ferritin levels which is an important little protein for those that don't know that stores & realises iron. I had had my red blood count done, the amount, size & shape were all as they should be & usually if they aren’t, it is a good sign of anemia. However when I had my ferritin checked my levels were really low indicating that although the other signs were fine I was infact anemic because I was deficient in the little protein that knows what to do with the iron.

This is also likely one of the main reasons I blacked out after my surgery & so I’ve now been put on quite a significant dose of iron tablets to try & get everything to how it should.

Also my usual physio is off sick (Boo! Hope she is better soon) so I have been seeing a new physio who is really nice. She had me trying wax therapy which is very odd & since I have been off my medication I’m in quite the flare & have been having alot of inflammation in my joints. My hips have been especially more painful which the physio has said is because I have bursitis in my hip (again) & inflammation in my pelvis. So unfortunately i'm not going to be able to avoid a steroid injection this time but hopefully it should get the flare inflammation back under some kind of control.

So yep that’s what's been occurring

Chronic illness, disability & a box that doesn’t “quite” fit

So I am referring to a blog post I have read titled “Please Stop Framing Disability as Just a Welfare Issue” & although I refer to the piece it is not an attack at the bloggers character but criticism of a piece that I felt was deeply one sided in parts.

I have linked to the blog post that I am referring to above & about half way down the post it refers to a section of the disabled community as the “Sick movement”.

I can’t see how refusing to accept a section of the disabled community as that, disabled, is suppose to support a move to have the disabled community included fully into society?

Just because someone may personally believe that these people do not “fit” into the definition they have of disability doesn't make it true.

It is also deeply disturbing & damaging to imply that if one person is perceived to have a severe disability & can do a proportion of work, that people with perceived “less severe” disabilities should have no excuses. When in reality most have additional difficulties that are not taken into account when casting judgement, which in itself can often be most damaging to the individual & will not support any idea of being confident living with their disability.

I have several overlapping medical conditions including psoriatic arthritis & hypermobility & although some conditions with the appropriate medical treatment can be well managed, medicine is still not perfect & often a person's condition is still disabling.

I have a condition which as a result causes disability & so therefore i am DISABLED. My arthritis causes me pain, fatigue which restricts my movement. I am restricted in my movement by the inflammation & pain & I can not carry anything heavy because my wrists will physically give way & this is just to start. Although I have medical treatment, I am one of those where medicine can not control the disabling aspects of my condition.

Disability by definition is a restriction & a limitation. It is not because we aren't trying hard enough, that we’re not “determined” or that we are giving in. With all the will in the world it won’t necessarily be enough if the body can’t keep up, even if the person had unlimited support & adaptations & this is not a failing on the person’s part.

It is bad enough that the government & the media consistently bash the disabled community on its legitimacy (which creates a more ablest environment) without members of the disabled community excluding people, often newly disabled, because they don’t believe that these people belong in their definition of disability.

However much the blogger in question may not like welfare being part of the immediate debate it is because if people are left without money & security when you are disabled (especially newly so) it will worry the life out of you, as it would for others disabled or not.

At the point when the brown envelope hits the mat the last thing a disabled person is thinking about is how to change disability policy for the better but instead are hoping that they will have a roof over their head, food & heat. The blogger makes it come across as if the first thing that enters a newly disabled person’s mind are pound signs but instead it is worry.

The work capability assessments work on the basis of the person is "guilty" or has something to hide & it grades on how “damaged” a person is. I would argue that the work capability assessments are the immediate basic problem for many. They are disabling in the way they are carried out & inspire no level of confidence from the individual that they will receive the support they need.

From what I have taken, from what the blogger has written, I agree that society is disabling but even if we had some beautiful utopia (oh how I wish) people will still be disabled especially those with chronic illnesses until medicine advances further. The WCA is broken & campaigners are drawing attention to the failings of the assessment to try & improve the situation. If the WCA was altered or removed this wouldn’t be the end to campaigning, it is only the start.

It is not seen as a "black or white" issue or that simply welfare is the only issue affecting disability. I find it incredibly patronising that people who campaign for improvement in the WCA apparently want the "protective feeling of a hospital environment".

The campaigners that campaign against the WCA want greater support given to disabled people so that they can realise their full potential. However many of the policies that were moving towards this have been cut, altered or greatly reduced including the ILF, PIP & access to work. Although imperfect, these were steps towards giving greater support to disabled people to realise their full potential & to be independent but due to the cuts the progress that has been made is largely being undone.

Disease does disable people & so does society. I would love society to lift the barriers around access to transport & buildings, for flexible working, job sharing or variable hours. But also for society to see that some people can't do paid work but could volunteer & that some can’t work but still have valuable contributions to make in other ways & to appreciate the value in it.

But this takes time & for society to care, which seems to be happening less & less with the increasing scrounger rhetoric portrayed by the media. Disability doesn’t fit into a tidy box or category it is as unique as the individual affected. The blogger only sees the final goal, not appreciating that we can not ignore the issues of the WCA if we want fair treatment for disabled people.

The process takes time.