and a Happy New Year!!

Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

So Happy New Year to everybody! We rang in the New Year watching people standing in the no doubt freezing cold weather watching some pretty fireworks whilst Techiecarer & I sat at home with one very excitable bunny bounding around us, he seemed so very pleased to ring in the New Year.

There was some lovely times this last year & some sad especially with my Dad’s passing & although it is part & parcel of my life, it is truly ridiculous to see how many hospital visits I’ve had.

I’m not for resolutions. Promises that so often you don’t keep to yourself. However as always I have things I want to do but on the understanding that I may not complete some of the things I would like to do this year but that doesn’t mean I never will. I also know that I will no doubt do things that I hadn’t even planned for this coming year.

However the main thing I want to try & do this year, is not to care about peoples’ judgement as much. I always try to be a nice person & be someone who cares but when I know that I am doing all that I can & that I need the help & support that I receive I still however get judgement. For me, it makes you feel like you have to explain, to justify yourself, where there is in fact nothing you need to justify yourself for. I have always known that for some they will never accept how things are regardless of what you say. So I’m going to try to conserve my energy & not defend something I don’t need to defend. I also want to make sure that I don’t let people define my worth by my disability or my lack of a job, my disability is part of me but it is not the only part & that just because I don’t have these things does not make me worthless nor mean I have no purpose.

I also want to write more. Manageable amounts that aren’t necessarily huge essays & to not worry about what I’m writing as much as I do & to improve upon it. For me with my dyslexia I have always found speaking a breeze but writing is a lot harder especially coupled with brain fog & fatigue. There are also so many small things I’m thinking about focusing on & will mull it over in the coming days & I know that Techiecarer has his own challenges ahead for this year but I know how very I proud of him I am.

To everyone I wish you a very happy new year & for everyone to be kind to themselves this coming year. To be helpful to others, to stand up for whats right & for the disabled community to support each other, to not allow people to create a climate where disabled are made to feel inadequate.

No one should define you but you.

Happy New Year

So welcome to 2014!

2013 was a odd year, lost my bunny that hadn’t been well for a while, we then got a beautiful mini lop that unfortunately passed away so young but the short time we had with him was so precious. Then we have our current mini lop Aslan who is so beautiful, even if he has issues (I think he thinks he’s a puppy). He’s such a content bunny.

Health wise it has been pretty poor, stomach bleeds which finally lead to me being diagnosed with bile reflux disease. I have got further tests to have on my stomach & throat & throughout the year doctors have suspected a range of pain disorders including Fibromyalgia to go along with the Arthritis, Hypermobility & such.

Also as with every year I have had to deal with something that I know I’m not alone with, that many people deal with the same but its also something that many people don’t understand is an additional complication in someone’s condition & how it makes a condition very unstable.

I have to take medication for my arthritis which means I’m immune suppressed, this means that I often get infections, so then I have to stop the medication, my arthritis flares up & the infection makes this worse, I get over the infection then I have to restart the cycle all over again.

Its frustrating as you never truly establish a plateau level with your condition but this for some is unrealistic & instead I’ve found my efforts are best placed trying to learn to live with a condition that is unpredictable.

This year this has occurred many times but the main occurrence was when I had to go over 6 months without meds, arthritis flared up pretty bad & later found out that I had a cyst in my face resulting in surgery.

2013 was definitely a year of what’s next in politics, knowing that some knee jerk reaction to put another poorly thought out ‘plan’ into action at the last minute would happen in response to something someone might have said or done & wondering how bad the fall out will be. The years of knowing nothing would happen until the budgets are long gone & it is sad knowing how much anxiety people are facing, knowing that the rug may be pulled from underneath them at any time. How do you relax? & concentrate on your health?

I also found such a massively determined set of people that won’t be silenced, that deal with a range of health problems & disabilities themselves but know how important it is that the facts reach the public and that people shouldn’t be scapegoated.

I have my own ideas & wishes for the year ahead & have learnt through the years that plans may get derailed or they may have to wait as my spoonie body takes over however frustrating that may be but things can get done with a little time & a lot of stubbornness.